I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Randomize
