you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
