Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
