i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
God, I missed his penis.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
