She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Holy shit dude........stairs
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
