When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
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