So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
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