Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
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