I'm drive I can fine osifer
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Randomize
