omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
your like the ambassador to my penis.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
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