Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
