It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Randomize
