Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Randomize
