my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
