It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Randomize
