trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Come share oat with me in your robe
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Randomize
