she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
