I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Randomize
