So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Randomize
