she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Someone shattered a urinal.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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