no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
