that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
I just googled if crying burns calories
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
