I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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