he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
