Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
i barfeds in our rink
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Congratulations! We have a period
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