and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
