Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
