Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
