sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Dick very happy bro
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
