Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
ttyl tear gas
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Randomize
