Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Randomize
