she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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