even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
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