I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Randomize
