I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Randomize
