I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
