My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
