Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Randomize
