Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Randomize
