idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
