I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
How does it feel to date your dad?
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
