Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Randomize
