no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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