Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
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