How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
