I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
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