how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Randomize
