from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
