maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
