so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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