Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
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