i need an iv and a liver transplant
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Randomize
