Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Randomize
